21:58 

Вечер научных шуток и прибауток

Мирный атом в лимбо
I love to sail forbidden seas
Господа, позвольте представить! Пятьдесят пятый по порядковому номеру, но не по значению, мистер Цезиииий!!! *там-пам-парапапа-пам-пам*

Дабы понять, о чём здесь будет идти речь
o It explodes violently on contact with water.
o It burns with a brilliant blue flame - the name cesium derives
from the sky-blue lines in its spectrum.
o It's hydroxide (what is left after it is finished exploding with
water) is the most powerful base known, and will eat through
glass.
o It is used as the central component of cesium-beam clocks, the
most accurate time pieces in existence.
o When consumed over a period of time, it produces a characteristic
mania.
Дабы иллюзорно представлять


Здесь я оставлю песни про этот замечательный элэмэнт.
Первое место, несомненно, заняла вот эта

Cesium's Burning
(a round, tune Scotland's Burning)

Cesium's burning, Cesium's burning.
Look out! Look out!
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Pour on water, pour on water.
Oh shit! Oh shit!

(repeat)

***
Oh Cesium
(Tune, Oh Christmas tree)

Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
Thy spectrum doth us please-ium.
Thy sky-blue lines in plasma's fire,
Do dreams of icy lakes inspire.
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
Thy spectrum doth us please-ium.

Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
When held, you never freeze-ium.
Thy gently smoking silver spheres,
When dropped in water, please the ears.
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
When held, you never freeze-ium.

Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
You put us at our ease-ium.
You tend the seconds of the day,
So that our watches never stray
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
You put us at our ease-ium.

***
Cesium, 'tis of thee,
Thy 'positivity,
Of thee I sing.
Thou whose hydroxide, dis-
solved my wife when she died,
Glorious too, for suicide,
Here, death, is thy sting

***
Yesterday

Yesterday,
I had Cesium with which to play.
Now all my fingers have been blown away.
And silence reigns since yesterday.

Suddenly,
I'm just half the man I used to be.
I have no eyes with which to see.
My legs have parted company.

Why she had to blow,
I don't know,
I can only say.
Something went awful wrong,
In the waterbed where we lay.

Yesterday,
Her sky blue path seemed such an easy way.
Now I know there is a price to pay.
Oh, I believed just yesterday.

***
Seventy Six Neutrons
(Tune, Seventy Six Trombones)

Seventy six lithe neutrons swayed on Cesium's bar,
Half a hundred and ten bold protons...

Hold it! Hold it!. That's Cesium 131. Half life only about 9.69 days.
Let's go for immortality here. Worth a shot anyway...

Seventy Eight Neutrons
(Tune, Seventy Six Trombones)

Seventy eight lithe neutrons swayed on Cesium's bar,
Half a hundred and ten bold protons joined the press.
And the eletronettes were a-whirling in duets,
All but one, the singular miss Six S.

Seventy eight nubile neutrons writhed in close array,
Half a hundred and ten lusty protons swelled the crowd.
And the electron pairs played blue photonic airs,
From within a shining quantum cloud.

There were pions, muons, quarks and other fermions,
Tunneling, tunneling, in a state of partial dress.
'Till an oily bit of water came a wandering,
And miss Six S got in a great big mess.

Seventy eight screaming neutrons ran and jammed the door,
Half a hundered and ten brave protons hit the ground.
There was a sky-blue flash, then nothing left but ash,
And the echo of a glorious thundering sound.

Взято jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/

@темы: limbo, what have science done!!!!, копипаста

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